That’s over 30 tosses of Karen’s Melons, er, wall balls, per minute. Some of the elite athletes are doing this WOD in under 5 minutes. You ready for something a little more civilized than some dogless sleds?įirst, make yourself a healthy helping of “ Karen’s Melons” (seriously, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried)ġ50 Wall Balls (men 20#-10′ / women 14#-9’) Watch them scatter out of your way like fruit sellers at the sunday market as you tear through their morning and show them what being elite looks like.

Go find that class and stomp your way through their PVC Overhead squat circle screaming about your awesomeness and how you will destroy them all. Go find some On-Ramp or Elements or Foundations or whatever the fuck that beginner bullshit is called at your gym. When you get through these measly 12 minutes of work and sake shots, you’re going to feel like fucking Godzilla ready to stomp through Tokyo. (20 seconds work + 10 seconds rest) x 8 rounds. In case you’re still drunk from yesterday and forgot how Tabata works: Today’s drink is in honor of what might be the home country of Mister Tabata: SAKE. Soooo, today, we’re doing Tabata drinking. It’s really cute how gyms try to come up with alternative Tabata workouts so that you don’t fall asleep during another cash out of Tabata squats or Tabata situps. Post times and elite fucking WOD wounds to comments Making it through all burpees without throwing up: -90 seconds

Making it through 100 without throwing up: -40 seconds

Making it through 50 without throwing up: -20 seconds But it’s okay - the knee scrapes will make your deadlift scabs look even more hardcore. By those last 10, you’re going to be collapsing onto the floor and scraping the fuck out of your knees. And no one becomes an elite athlete that way.Īnd while we’re being honest, no one stays tight as a board for 150 drunken burpees. Don’t you want to Rx the shit out of this WOD? Because really, there’s no way to scale it without just skipping the burpees and having some beer at a bar. Grab a six pack and a shoulder to cry on. Except, we’re going to make it a little more fun for you. The road to elite fitness is paved with burpees, and that is not fun at all.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Crossfit softball throw fail